Sunday, November 11, 2012

Adobe Reader, Flash and Oracle Java - PU!

I was having a good Sunday. My friends went to church. I took medicine for my sore back and that gave me some creative juice. I drank the juice but not the Kool-Aid. I refuse to drink the Kool-Aid.

You don't need Java. You don't need Flash and your don't need Reader. They all suck. They're a cesspool that bring in malware. They constantly need updating. I never got a virus on my paper... lined or otherwise. Unfortunately, computing without the above poo-poo is not a pleasant experience in the real world. So many idiots program their webpages and apps to require Java, Reader and Flash, that you might as well be Amish if you're not going to have those apps installed on your compooter.

This blog post is now three paragraphs. I didn't want to go there. Just make sure your required crapware is up-to-date. Update your OS too if there are any updates available. Then take a chill-pill and chillax.

Monday is coming, until the end of the World as we know it.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Got me a case of the LinkedIn spooks O_o scares me. It seems to know so much about me. It knows where I work. Where I've worked. Who I know. All sorts of stuff. It knows if I'm wearing boxers or briefs. It knows I don't like sausage or pepperoni. It knows who I've slept with and how many times we did it. It knows what I ate for breakfast and dinner... but oddly enough, not what I had for lunch.

How does LinkedIn know all this? Is there a LinkedIn spy hiding under my bed? Let me look... I'll be right back.


Nope... nobody under my bed except for my cat, Mr. LinkedIn. Wait a moment... it just occurred to me... my kitty's name is Mr. LinkedIn! I didn't think about it much because I didn't name him. He was given to me by LinkedIn when they installed the spy camera detectors and anti-evesdropping microphones in my home, office and car. These are devices that LinkedIn uses to make sure nobody is spying on their users. Privacy at it's best.

Thank you LinkedIn. Why did I ever doubt you? You are our protector. All hail your glory.


Friday, November 2, 2012

Do you know which way to set your clocks?

This time of year, it's always confusing. Am I a boy... am I a girl... no wait. Let's start over.

This time of year, it's always confusing. Should I set my clocks ahead one hour or back one hour or ahead 23 hours or 46 hours? See what I mean. Anyone can Google the correct answer, but here's a simple poem I wrote to help you remember which way the wind blows.

Roses are red, dead roses are black. In the spring, spring ahead... in the fall, don't smoke crack.

Now, on to my real solution to the problem at hand: (get it... clock hands?)

Get a head start on this weekend's upcoming time change by setting your clocks back 1 hour now. Or, set them back 2 hours and then ahead one hour at 2 AM on Sunday. Or maybe at 1 AM. Now I'm confused...

If it's Tuesday, this must be Belgium. If you don't believe me... look it up.

I've gotta go so I'm not late... or early.