Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Well hellooo Windows Vista Service Pack 1 aka: SP1

All the posts below this line are old and stale. I could have deleted them, but I left them here for posterity. Cross the line at your own risk.
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Wow, there is so much excitement in the room, and of course the room is Twitter. Microsoft finally made SP1 for Vista (aka: Windows Vista Service Pack 1) available yesterday, but not really until today. That accounts for the 3/17/08 file date on the Microsoft Download site. Don't ever question Microsoft logic. Perhaps they forgot to set their calendar ahead for Daylight Savings Time?

3/17/2008: Windows Vista Service Pack 1 Five Language Standalone (KB936330) - {Windows6.0-KB936330-X86-wave0.exe} 32-bit Download link: http://www.microsoft.com/downloads/details.aspx?FamilyID=b0c7136d-5ebb-413b-89c9-cb3d06d12674&DisplayLang=en

3/17/2008: Windows Vista Service Pack 1 Five Language Standalone (KB936330) - {Windows6.0-KB936330-X64-wave0.exe} 64-bit Download link: http://www.microsoft.com/downloads/details.aspx?FamilyID=874a414b-32b2-41cc-bd8b-d71eda5ec07c&DisplayLang=en

Most of you will want the 32-bit version. That's the normal one for mom, dad and the kids. The 64-bit version of Windows Vista is for those who boldly go, where no man has gone before. (Cue StarTrek Theme Music.)

New Information as of 2:12 PM PDT: ...with thanks to my super cool Twitter friend @NickStarr, I have added another important all inclusive download link: http://www.microsoft.com/downloads/Browse.aspx?DisplayLang=en&nr=20&productId=38DF6AB1-13D4-409C-966D-CBE61F040027&sortCriteria=date

The above link gives a chronological listing of the Vista related Service Packs, release notes and additional downloads necessary to prepare your Vista OS for accepting future Windows Updates. I suggest you use the above link.

Some important notes: Vista SP1 will break stuff and fix stuff. Read all the notes first before running the service pack. My Twitter pal @mickduc adds "SP1 install fails if sfc /scannow fails. Make sure it is clean." I say, take a nice warm bath and scrub your lower bits and upper bytes too.

My other Twitter buddy @Lolagrrl tweets, @acomputerpro I'm afraid! So much stuff is broken on my compuker already! Will SP1 actually help?! I scared! Hold me!! ;)

Note: I will hold any of my female Twitterbuds at any time. That is written into my consulting agreement. Male Twitterpals, you're on your own. Sure... call me a sexist, but I favor the ladies.

So, in recapitulation... here is my instruction set:

1. Install Vista if it's not already on your computer (and if you want it on your computer.) The service pack won't work if you don't have Vista installed, because it's a Vista Service Pack... DUH!

2. Read all the readme.txt files and notes. Follow all the instructions. Run the built in Windows System File Checker [sfc /scannow] from a command line. Look it up if you don't understand what that means. I'm not here to baby you. You're running Vista you know!

3. I have no idea what to do at this point.

Happy updating...

-gj (a computer pro)

P.S. Follow me on Twitter if you aren't already. www.twitter.com/acomputerpro

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Microsoft, you're nuts!

What the heck did Microsoft install on my Vista Tablet PC overnight? This is crazy! Where is my heart medication? I feel dizzy. My head is spinning. Where is SP1 for Vista?

Microsoft fixes 17 flaws in 11 patches; 6 are 'critical'. LOL at you ****heads! I own a Mac. Uh oh, I own a WinPC too.

If you run Windows, you better read this. http://www.news.com/8301-10789_3-9870399-57.html?tag=newsmap I suppose you can just click on the link. Hopefully it won't crash your WinOS.

My favorite part from the news.com article above, is the following quote: "Tim Rains, security response communications lead for Microsoft, humorously noted that "Windows Vista SP1 and Windows Server 2008 are not affected by any of today's bulletins." They're not affected because they are not yet available to the public."

I'm now going to LMAO all the way to work, because as "A Computer Pro" I'm sure I'll be very busy today. Wait a second... I'd rather be relaxing on the beach with an MacBook Air and a tall glass of Mountain Zin.

-gj (acomputerpro)