Thursday, September 27, 2012

With six... you get Mongolian Payroll.

Dear Intuit: stop spamming me. You say it's a trick? Let's check Dynamoo's Blog.

Oh... it IS a trick! My bad. Sorry Intuit. Now I'm hungry. There's a Mongolian BBQ about 3 miles from my place. I'm gonna head on down there with my Windows 8 tablet and have brunch.


Sarah Jessica iPhone 5

An iPhone 5 walks into a bar...

and you know the rest.

Who said, "blogging is easy?"


Tuesday, September 25, 2012

I'm not recommending those condoms...

I really do hate The Facebook, even though I'm on it and slightly active. Well, at least I'm active for my age. But the new intrusive ads are an insult to my intelagentz. Personalize an advertisement and pretend it's my recommendation? I say, NOT!

Here's how you can not too.

Oops, sorry. That was on my clipboard. Nice memory though, eh? Take two...

That's it for now. What? You want more? Okay, then here's a little tune for y'all.  Arrrg... my ears!!!

Saturday, September 22, 2012

It was a genuine Windows emergency!

Hey, Windows users... did you feel it? Did you feel the big one? On Friday, Microsoft pushed out an emergency 'out of cycle' update for Internet Explorer. I guess since they're running those pricy IE9 commercials during The X-Factor in the USA, they thought... "oh f!, we better fix the GAPING SECURITY FLAW!"

Damn straight, homie. You gotta put a rubber on that to keep the zero-day off your box, aight?

What's it all about, Alfie? Victim computers are compromised just by visiting a malicious Website, which gives attackers the same privileges on the machine as the current user. --writing credit to Metasploit exploit developer "sinn3r" from the "Rapid7 blog."

Now what? Is it safe to get back into the pool that Microsoft is constantly peeing in? I'd say yes. But then again... I'm existential. Strange, that got a blue line. Maybe I'm not doing it right.

P.S. I got an iPhone 5 but I'm not going to keep it.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Dear #Apple & #ATT:

On Friday 9/21 when the stupid new iPhone 5 comes out, I'm not going to play the stand in line for the Emperor's new clothes game. Fool me once, shame in me. Fool me fivece, shame on YOU! It's bad enough I'm willing to spend money on a new phone... that's same as the old phone. Oh wait... I forgot. Faster, thinner, longer, lighter. So is my ****!

Since Apple and AT&T are playing the, "oh... we didn't have enough iPhone fives to sell online but you can line up like a Lemming and buy one on Friday game," I'm taking a stand! No no NO!

Because I'm a business customer, I can't buy an iPhone 5 from anyone else besides AT&T. My devious plan is to reserve one at Sam's Club... aka: Upscale Walmart. I have an appointment at 10:30 on Friday to get a shiny new iPhone 5 there but it will have to be a new personal account. No worries, I'll either convince AT&T to move it to my business account later, or I'll throw it through their window smashing it to bits.

And it always boils down to the least common denominator, right? Bits. It's just bits. Nothing more.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Germany is at it again...

Don't fall for it! The German government wants you to believe that Internet Explorer 9 is dangerous. Oh sure... so does my last blog entry and I certainly know what I'm talking about. But you can't trust the German government ever since that little incident back in the late 30's early 40's.

I don't know which I hate more... Nazi Germany or Internet Explorer, but according to Microsoft's main IE website:, there is nothing to worry about on the IE front. One would assume that if there was a problem, we would see a flashing .gif on the landing page for Internet Explorer warning the potential downloader it prolly ain't a good idea to use IE right now.

So... to sum up this blog post in a few words: Germany lied, IE is questionable and I'm enjoying some fine kosher wine for the Jewish New Year. Happy 5773 to me and all my Jewish Internet pals.

Wow... I feel old. My Bar Mitzvah was way back in the 30's... but now's my chance to relive the 70's!

L'shanah tovah!

Monday, September 17, 2012

Oh NOES! Internet Explorer DANGER!

Sigh, it was just too good to be true. I've seen those Microsoft IE9 videos touting Internet Explorer as the fastest and safest browser. Now this?

The sky is falling... the sky is falling! Seriously, this is some nasty $%^! If I were you... or me for that matter... I'd bail on IE until the coast is clear. And I'm not talking about the weather, whether you like it or not.

Use Chrome. You can get it here.

You're welcome. Now go hide your head in a hole.

Sunday, September 16, 2012


TIL: it's not a myriad at all. (adj)

For example: He looked up to see myriad stars shining in the clear winter sky.

Read more using the link below:

P.S. Perhaps, you've just been holding it wrong.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Edith Roman's STILL a _ _ _ _!

Why don't I heed my own advice? I'm the one who says NEVER use an unsubscribe link sent by a spammer. That just validates your email address. Yet I gave fat ugly smelly old Edith Roman a chance. Since I've been bombarded with UCE from her domain, I have grown to despise her. I have made an Edith Roman pin cushion and dart board.

On the bright side, don't forget to update Windows. We're in a "2nd Tuesday of the month cycle week." Oh... and if you see Edith Roman... tell her she sucks and then kick her in the shins.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Edith Roman is a _ _ _ _!

The Can of Spam Act is specific. There are rules that can't be broken. Yet ugly _ _ _ _ Edith Roman runs afoul of these rules and doesn't wipe. Meet the new queen of SPAM. Ladies and gents of the Internets... I present to you... Ms. Edith Roman.

If you receive email from her scummy direct marketing list, unsubscribing does no good. As a matter of fact, it just reinforces that your address is real. You might as well change it at this point.

Where's the FTC on this matter? Where's LBJ? Where's the IRT? Where is 4th Street, USA?

Monday, September 10, 2012

Time to go daddy... GO!

For those who chose to pick a domain registrar based on cheapness and a poor reputation... you may think about leaving after today... when their servers come back up. This was a big outage. Where was the redundancy? Where what the technical expertise? Where's the old dude with the five-o-clock shadow and the earing?

Just in case your looking for info on how to GO from GoDaddy... Mashable has the scoop:

Now... Go Now!
"I don't want to see you go.
But, darling... you'd better go now."

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Eric Rapaport is back... did he email you?

In 2007, Eric Rapaport sent out a mass emailing and put up a website making substantial claims.

"Yes, I am formerly commander and director Rapaport of the CIA. The Central Intelligence Agency fired me so that they could get away with bank frauding me for money I made writing small parts of microsofts product line and for money I made writing various movies, with out being prosecuted."

... and it goes on and on and on and on. So as usual, I did a little research and I found that Conrad Longmore had figured it all out. Here's a link to his findings and you can read it on Dynamoo's Blog.

This past week, it appears that Eric Rapaport is at it again. I got an email message from him. I'm going to read it again right now, but first... I must put on my tin foil hat and have a power nap.

Picture yourself in a boat on a river... ZZZzzz

Thursday, September 6, 2012

International FedEx spam day.

First of all, let me just say that I've already spanked myself for missing two days worth of posting. Now that I've started off this blog entry with a completely inappropriate sentence, let's get down to business.

I keep getting invoices from FedEx in my email. They're coming from this guy.

Oh sure, some may think the messages are forged and spam because they're actually coming from compromised email servers all over the World. But if I were going to impersonate myself... wouldn't I do the same thing? Wait, now I'm confused. Let me check again.

*Correctiom: the email is forged and not coming from Milton Ballard of FedEx. My bad.

*Correction #2: It's "correction" not "correctiom."

Thanks for watching and have a nice day.

Monday, September 3, 2012

No holiday for me...

At first I was thinking... cool, it's a holiday here is the USA. I can take the day off from blogging. But then I remembered my new promise of, "a blog a day." Who's stupid idea was that? Not to mention it's the weekend and a holiday weekend to boot. No news. No tech tips. No virus warnings. What am I supposed to write about?

Did you hear that Lindsay Lohan may or may not have a stolen NeXT Cube in her bedroom? Let me see if I can find a pic... because you know the rule.

Note: I started this post on Sunday 9/2 at about 11 PM. Then I started Googling images of NeXT Cubes and Lindsay Logan, but I fell asleep before finishing this entry. Are there extra points for that?

... to be continued

... or maybe not

Saturday, September 1, 2012

What's in my coffee? Not Java 7...

Dang Poindexter... what the **** is up with Java 7?

Pretty simple. It's in the punchline. Despite the new emergency patch delivered by Oracle on 8/31, Java 7 is still dangerous. Stay with version 6 for now.

What's Java? Why do you need it?