Saturday, October 27, 2012

Why is a large breasted woman trying to sell me solar panels?

Facebook. The downfall of civilization as we know it. Zuck knows who the next President of the United State for America is going to be, but he's not telling. Going to the country... gonna eat a lot of peaches.

So today I patronized Best Buy to get a Windows 8 touchscreen desktop computer. Instead, I bought a Windows 7 touchscreen desktop computer. I think I'll put Windows 8 on it, but first... I must RTFM.

How different is Windows 8? Even I, A Computer Pro, doesn't be knowing how worksy. It's all confusilated. No "START" button to shut it down when I'm done. Actually, I never turn off my computers... and if it's yellow, I let it mellow.

That reminds me of a funny story, but I'll save it for later.

Tatas for now. () ()

Thursday, October 25, 2012

This is NOT your father's Apple :(

Back in 1977 or so... I headed to Lawndale and bought myself an Apple ][ for ][ thousand dollars. I brought that beast home in my 1971 Z/28 Camero. I had a muscle computer, in the trunk of a muscle car. I also had a girlfriend. Let's call her Anna, to protect her identity... even though that's actually her name. Doh!

Anna and I liked to get cozy... or whatever you kids call it now-a-daze. We liked to do the deed (I was a boy scout - see footnote*) until the new Apple ][ stole my attention away. No longer was I a slave to pretty girls who would _ _ _ _ me. I was now a geek who would rather compute than play "that game."

I should hate Apple for this, but I've stuck with them through the years. Eventually I married, divorced and remarried. Even though I've now been happily married for 22 years... I'm still typing at an Apple keyboard and staring at my words on an Apple computer screen. Hang on a moment... Beck's on the line.

Sorry... he was looking for you. Anyway, I fell asleep and lost my train of thought. It doesn't matter. I hate Apple now. It's no longer the company I once loved. I feel it's a greedy corporation that doesn't really care about its customers. I hereby divorce you... Apple!

Good day.

*P.S. What's this Windows 8 everybody's talking about?

Monday, October 22, 2012

Once a week is not enough!

I've checked with Dr. Ruth and her baby. They both agree. It was a candy bar floating in the pool. But that doesn't explain why this tech blog is only being updated once a week. I'm going to do further "research" and I'll get back to you with an answer... in less than 7 days.

This is going to be a busy tech week. Microsoft is going to screw up Windows for good on Friday. I look forward to that. Apple has some sort of secret annoncement and most tech pendents believe it's going to be a new Newton. See what I did there?

With any luck, I'll find out when I can buy a Samsung Galaxy Note II from AT&T. I'll also be visiting some craft brewery and tossing back a cold pint of something. Due to the busy schedule, I've canceled my planned intervention. Sorry.

Keeping it real... as in real stupid... -gj

Sunday, October 14, 2012

A week... seriously?

How am I supposed to come up with something interesting to write about everyday? Sure, I get ideas but I like each blog entry to be excellent by Klingon standards. nuqDaq 'oH puchpa''e'

I believe in quality over quantity, eggs over easy, moon over Miami and of course life on Mars. Speaking of which, Windows 8 is like 12 days away or something. Are you excited? Are you ready to learn Microsoft Windows all over again? A couple of weeks ago, I installed Windows 8 (I got it early because I'm special) on my wife's notebook PC. She hates me now.

Did I mention my main computer is a Macintosh? That's how I roll.

tl;dr: Butterflies are neither flies nor made of butter.

Did you miss me?

Sunday, October 7, 2012

I have a really small phone.

This dude was driving down the highway in Farmville, when his car broke down in front of a farm. He walked up to the front door of the farmhouse and rang the bell. Farmer John, answered.

"Hello Mr. Farmer," said the dude with the broken down car. "My name is Richard and my Tesla has broken down 100 yards east of here. I have a really small phone and my battery is flat. By the way... call me Dick."

"Bad luck Dick," said the farmer. "There's not a mechanic within 100 miles from here. I could offer you a room to stay for the night, but I only have one bedroom in the house and it belongs to my daughter, Veronica. You'll have to sleep in the barn."

The next day, the farmers cow was pregnant.

Moral of the story... don't let a tech guy do a blog post over the weekend.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Can you hear my fake email now?

It's happening again. Back in March, spammers lead a campaign to infect millions of computer with the infamous ZeuS/Zbot, which is known for its effective ability to steal online banking credentials and upload them to a remote server controlled by the attackers. 

Now stop that! When you get an email from don't click on any links. Better yet, follow the advice of Twitter's @HypheNet below.

Read and repeat.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

NO "Corporate eFax message" for you!

Faxing sucks. It's old technology... just like the CD and condoms. Nobody needs it. I threw my fax machine into the Chicago River years ago. I tied a cement block to it, just in case cuz I don't need to see the Chicago Fax Police knocking at my door asking... "hey... wassup?"

eFax sucks too. Just attach the scanned document(s) to email and be done with it. Now we have some spammer in Argentina sending out fake eFax email with a malicious payload. Once again we turn to Dynamoo's Blog for the story.

Bottom line ______
                                see what I did there? Don't click on any links in email. Hover your cursor over the link and see where it goes, Moe.

Seacrest, OUT!

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Oppa is I want a Note II... too.

Have you seen the Samsung Galaxy Note II? It's now available in Europe. Eyyyyyyyy.... sexy phablet.
Oppa is Gangnam style<--- So that's what happens when you try to copy and paste from a lyrics website? Sneeky... Oppa is Gangnam style!

But what is Gangnam style? Can I go to a Korean BBQ and order dog on a stick, Gangnam style? It turns out there are quite a few Dog Cafes in the Gangnam district of Seoul. The good news is, they don't serve dog on a stick. As a matter of fact, a dog cafe is an animal friendly eating establishment.

PSYch! But why the misdirection? This blog posting is supposed to be about the Galaxy Note II. Well, I don't have one. I'm going to have to wait until the end October to find out when they will be available in the USA. In the mean time... Oppa is Gangnam style!

Grrr... WANT!