This is NOT your father's Apple :(

Back in 1977 or so... I headed to Lawndale and bought myself an Apple ][ for ][ thousand dollars. I brought that beast home in my 1971 Z/28 Camero. I had a muscle computer, in the trunk of a muscle car. I also had a girlfriend. Let's call her Anna, to protect her identity... even though that's actually her name. Doh!

Anna and I liked to get cozy... or whatever you kids call it now-a-daze. We liked to do the deed (I was a boy scout - see footnote*) until the new Apple ][ stole my attention away. No longer was I a slave to pretty girls who would _ _ _ _ me. I was now a geek who would rather compute than play "that game."

I should hate Apple for this, but I've stuck with them through the years. Eventually I married, divorced and remarried. Even though I've now been happily married for 22 years... I'm still typing at an Apple keyboard and staring at my words on an Apple computer screen. Hang on a moment... Beck's on the line.

Sorry... he was looking for you. Anyway, I fell asleep and lost my train of thought. It doesn't matter. I hate Apple now. It's no longer the company I once loved. I feel it's a greedy corporation that doesn't really care about its customers. I hereby divorce you... Apple!

Good day.

*P.S. What's this Windows 8 everybody's talking about?